Stupid gnats… I don’t like you.  You annoy my wife and you are attracted by turtles and turtle poo. 

Those stupid gnats brought my relationship with my best friend to an end.  It’s true, Speedy is gone.

He found his way into my life when I was working in Affton.  He parked himself behind a parked car that I needed to move.  I brought him inside where he was our branch mascot for the week.  The employees and customers loved him (except Dinka when he pooped on her).  After a week hanging out with us, I attempted to let him go.  There were 2 attempts to let him walk out the front door.  First time- he walked over to the concrete steps at the side of the building and attempted to climb down them, ending in his favorite position… upside down.  Second attempt was straight out to the busy Gravois Rd.

So I took him home for the night so that I could release him the next morning in the park.  Alisha was not happy about this, until the following morning walk to the park.  She had quickly grown attached to Speedy and offered to allow us to keep him.  I decided to release him in a little creek in the park and let him live his turtle life.

Throughout that day we continued to talk about Speedy.  So towards the end of the day, we went back to the park to check on him.  Well before we got to the spot in the park by the creek, we decided that we would take Speedy back if we found him again.  Two steps after agreeing to that, Alisha stepped on Speedy!  I picked him up right away, and found his shelled cracked and turtle blood everywhere.  Alisha immediately started crying because she thought that she killed Speedy.  After making fun of her and her 82 pound inability to kill anything (the weight might not be correct, it could be 83 ), we realized that the park had been mowed by large tractors.  We kept our promise to keep him and added a new one to nurse him back to health.  Plenty of neosporin and love did the trick. 

We have been talking about letting Speedy go for a while now because his existence in a laundry basket was a little limited.  Alisha’s sister Angie was going to take him and build him an outdoor playground in her new backyard.  But she recently got sick and spent some time in the hospital(s).  It was going to take her a while to be able to be ready for Speedy, so we (Alisha) decided we just needed to let him go.  We have been keeping him outside on the deck during the warm summer days where the gnats have taken to Speedy just like the ladies are attracted to me.  Darn you hundreds of attractive women who can’t stay away from me!

The other day my (great) niece came over to hang out while her parents went to the Cardinals game.  The 2-year old was intrigued by Speedy while he was in his basket, but the second I brought him out she freaked.  We tried to explain that he can’t hurt her because he is a friendly turtle.  All week she randomly explained to people that ‘Peedy can’t hurt her. 

Well Elle, you’re right he can’t hurt you.  Unless you happen upon him at the Powder Valley Nature Reserve.  But even if you did, he wouldn’t hurt you, he is an adventure turtle who is good and just happens to be my best friend.  After I let him go, I felt like he was probably pissed at me.  A moment after we parted ways, we ran into another box turtle named Regina.  And it made me realize that after a few minutes with Regina, Speedy might not even remember me- and who could blame him?  Regina was a looker.

Regina, before bumping shells

Speedy, I will miss you and if by any chance we meet again… I won’t let anything come between us.  Not even a girl.