Her audition was today…
May 6, 2009
purple makes you look fruity.
February 8, 2009
Great news! I sold my first snuggie tonight at Target (and no, I don’t work at Target… I work enough the way it is, thank you).
I was ranting about how much I wanted to buy the snuggie to Alisha in the middle of the store. The item was on sale for $14.99 and I couldn’t think of a logical reason not to purchase the stylish warming apparatus. Just before I was going to give up on the snuggie (and potentially Alisha), the sweetest old lady came up to me and said, “I would like to buy one.”
I wish I had a picture of you, nice old lady (I hope you stay nice and warm forever)… you reminded me of an important lesson- believe in your product.
I won’t give up, there are plenty of cold people out there who need to hear what I have to say… Hopefully Alisha will listen too.
January 19, 2009
I haven’t really had a ton of free time to blog recently. I am sure that a few people have noticed, but certainly not the masses. Well, Lerryn noticed… and she finally had enough. She told me today that she was sick of my most recent post (but did tell me that she was happy that I have a more recent post than my wife).
If you don’t know Lerryn, you should… she’s great. She goes to my church where she is very active in worship and with junior high, plus she is my niece’s favorite baby-sitter. On top of all that, she responds to you when you call her “Morgan”.
Here is a side by side comparison of Lerryn and Debra Morgan from the Showtime hit ‘Dexter’. She could be her stunt double.
Lerryn, this is something to think about… stunt doubling might pay a little better than baby-sitting.
December 13, 2008
Alisha and I went out to dinner tonight (it’s one of my favorite activities). Of course we had to pull the car over to give us some time to actually figure out where we wanted to go instead of driving around for an hour only to end up at Lion’s Choice. We determined that we were going to go to “the hill” since we live so close by (for all my readers who aren’t familiar with St. Louis, “The Hill” is a historic area in town that is known for their authentic Italian restaurants).
We ended up going to a restaurant that we have never noticed before- Mama Campisi’s… what a great decision!! They have this guy walking around the place singing old crooner songs. It was a little creepy, but entertaining. There was this couple at the next table who was offered dessert by a number of employees and each time they would decline indicating that they have other ‘plans’ for after dinner. One time they come out and say that they are going to have sex for dessert. After they leave we start talking with the waitstaff about how weird and gross they were. Of course, I could have taken the conversation too far (but I didn’t), rather the girls who worked there did. They brought us the dessert plate and started naming each item as sex on a _______ (i.e. elevator, hotel bed, pool, etc). I chose sex on a sidewalk- the carrot cake. The girls decorated the cake and wrote on the plate in chocolate their new title for the dish and brought it out and sang us a birthday style song about the topic of the hour. The singing was okay, the food was good, and the service was excellent. I think we may have found our new place.
November 13, 2008
If you know me, you know that there are only a few things that I ever really say to people… it can get a little repetitive.
Some of my favorite sayings are…
- those are z’s
- I invented fish tacos
- billy likes soda
- that’s awesomes
- get back in the boof
- no, you’re __________ (retort to anything Alisha says)
- I thought I was your snack pack
Many of those are Adam Sandler lines (see prior blog), but a lot of them are Jim originals. Alisha ends up saying “I knew you were going to say that”. For example, anytime she asks me what I want for dinner or dessert, my answer is almost always VIENNETTA. I even whaled on the floor of the grocery store demanding Viennetta (Alisha likes it when you embarrass her).
For those of you who don’t know (or remember), Viennetta is a fancy ice cream log cake- which just happens to be delicious. It was around when I was a kid… I am pretty sure it came in a black and white box like this.
I haven’t seen Viennetta in at least 10-15 years. That was until we saw it in Germany. The Deutchlanders appearently have a finer taste palette in order to not let it come off the shelves.
Alisha surprised me tonight with my very own log of Viennetta that she found at Dierbergs. I was so excited to see it. She wouldn’t let me eat the whole thing though.
Do yourself a favor and get yourself a giant tasty log of Viennetta… you won’t be disappointed, unless you miss it while it’s here and then all you’ve got is my constant suggestion to eat it.
November 12, 2008
I have been sick the last few weeks. I had a sinus infection that I just did my best to ignore because of my lack of time to really do anything else about it. There were several straight nights that I used night-quil to help me have a chance of going to sleep and staying asleep. I finally started to feel a little better so I attempted to go a night without the drugs, and what happened? I couldn’t go to sleep.
I ended up on facebook and started typing in names of people that I know that may be on facebook. That got old after a while, so I began typing names of old friends that I either lost contact with or did something to blow the relationship.
It was great. I found my old youth pastor, an old roommate, and I even found my nephew on there (I don’t know why we weren’t friends months ago). I sent them all requests and included a nice message to tell them how much they meant to me and that I hoped they were doing well. I got messages back from most of them… which is great, maybe our lost relationships were just as troubling to them as it was to me.
I finally came across an old friend from middle school- Jeremy. He was this crazy kid that I became really fast friends with. We watched a ton of SNL and really aspired to be Adam Sandler or Chris Farley. We would make up characters and then try our best to get on the radio making some kind of awful request. I think at one point we determined to make a cd of songs about cheesefries (you should hear our version of Sheryl Crow’s “All I Want To Do”. We really wanted to carve out our own slice of celebrity.
When I first found him, I wasn’t sure if it was the same guy… he looked really trendy in this retro athletic outfit (complete with a sweatband), which seemed like it could be him. But he lived in New York and of course I couldn’t read any of his profile. The only lucky thing was that I could view his friends. Enough friends from Milwaukee (and his sister) convinced me that it actually was Jeremy. A good majority of his friends worked at MTV.
My mind started to wander about Jeremy’s potential occupation. Whether he works for MTV, or is a musican, maybe he’s a writer for SNL… who knows. I didn’t request him. Instead I imagined all these great creative careers that he might have. And the result was disappointment in my current career and inability to do anything creative outside of hunting down a customer who is impossible to contact, hasn’t paid any money in weeks, and taking my “asset” back (my big accomplishment of the day).
I am starting to lose my ability to dream that I am going to be a soccer player or a tv star when I grow up. I am sure everyone goes through this… I guess I am finally an adult. Shouldn’t I at least get a Bar Mitzvah party or something??
Better yet… Does anyone want to help me produce a Jaydogg movie??
November 9, 2008
I don’t really know why I named my blog what I did. It might be a subconscience attraction to a favorite blog of mine. Or it could be that I was drinking chocolate milk when I decided to start doing a blog- I make most of my big decisions over a tall cool glass of chocolate milk.
I haven’t really been doing my part recently as a blog writer. But that is ok… because there have been plenty of people out there doing a great job of being blog readers.
Apparently there are many people out there being all google-ish wanting to know all sorts of answers to questions concerning chocolate milk. I am glad that they have come to me to get the straight scoop. Here are all the recent search engine hits that I have received concerning america’s favorite topic…
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chocolate milk speeds me up |
11 |
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chocolate milk |
3 |
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poopball |
1 |
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chocolate milk causes bad dreams!? |
1 |
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the right milk for me |
1 |
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chocolate milk before a game |
1 |
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dreaming about chocolate milk means |
1 |
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could i give my turtle milk |
1 |
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my wife give me milk |
1 |
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warm chocolate milk cleans the colon |
1 |
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reception chocolate milk |
1 |
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chocolate milk moves you |
1 |
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chocolate vs bad dreams |
1 |
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good ideas for chocolate milk |
1 |
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commercial life with chocolate milk |
1 |
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potty bedroom |
1 |
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chocolate milk before working out |
1 |
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chocolate milk is for me |
1 |
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chocolate gnats |
1 |
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milk selection process for chocolate mil |
1 |
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what does chocolate milk mean |
1 |
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i am 5 years and if had a dream of choco |
1 |
I hope these visitors got what they were looking for- I assume that they did. For those of looking for tips on how chocolate milk relates with your bowels… may I suggest Alisha’s blog as a great resource for all your poop and colon questions.
September 18, 2008
When you drive in Germany (or Austria/Switzerland for that matter) you learn a lot, mainly about yourself. Especially when words like this can make you giggle like a school girl…
gute fahrt… have a good trip
ausfahrt… exit
Ok, not very mature, but at least I am honest. So we are driving around Europe in one of these bad boys…
The Fiat Punto! It is a fine car. Not the sexiest, but it is good on gas and isn`t the slowest on the Autobahn. I got it up to 180 km/h (120 mph), which I thought was cool. That was until I got passed by a Ferrari going at least 250 km/h. I should have upgraded to one of those!!
Driving on the autobahn actually is not as intimidating as I make it out to be. The no speed limit thing is only in rural areas, and drivers are very respectful. These are things that Illinois should look into!
Probably my favorite part of driving over here is the stoplights… just before you get a green light, both the red and yellow lights come on as a second length warning that you better be ready to go. Which is great! With driving a stick you need that extra second to get into gear. The Germans are so smart!!
Last thing… you should come to the Alps, it will change your life. This is our view…
More later.
